🔗🌟 Genuine, Gay, and Gloriously Confused: Abi Li’s Take on Love and Laughter
What do dating disasters, threesomes, queer awakenings, and tech startup flops have in common? In the latest episode of Deep & Dirty, Lisa Opel sits down with comedian and self-declared proud failure Abi Li to find out. The result: a raw, funny, and wildly relatable deep dive into modern love, loneliness, and the messy beauty of not having it all figured out.
From Beijing to Hamburg – and Every Awkward Date in Between
Abi’s story begins in Beijing, winds through the UK, and lands somewhere between Schanze and Reeperbahn. After a string of life shake-ups—including a failed startup, a lost dog, and a broken ankle—Abi found herself at rock bottom. With nothing to lose, she did what anyone would do… she started doing stand-up comedy.
“I couldn’t afford a therapist, so I figured I’d try comedy. It’s cheaper, and you get a drink,” she jokes. But behind the humor lies a very real tale of resilience, transformation, and learning to find joy in the absurdity of life.
Banned on Bumble, Blocked on Tinder — But It’s a Date
Abi's take on dating is unfiltered and hilarious. After being banned from multiple dating apps (she still doesn’t know why), she launched her own live dating-themed comedy show, It’s a Date, in Hamburg. But as she says, “I may be a dating failure, but at least I’m not alone.” At her shows, audience members anonymously share their own dating disasters—fuel for the comedians to roast, comfort, and connect.
Queerness, Confusion, and That One Time at KitKat
Abi opens up about her complicated and beautiful relationship with queerness. From her first sexual awakening at 17 with a mysterious older woman online, to steamy-but-awkward encounters with women in adulthood, her story highlights the fluid, ever-evolving nature of sexual identity. “I like girls, but I don’t like girls touching me,” she reflects. “So I don’t know what I am. And that’s okay.”
The Problem With Perfection
Lisa and Abi dive into the struggles of dating in a world obsessed with checklists and certainty. From the pressure to "know what you want" to the myth of the perfect partner, they question why emotional intelligence and honesty aren’t the default settings for connection.
Abi puts it best:
“Everyone’s a carrot looking for their hole… and you just need to find the one that fits.”
(Misquote or not, it’s probably the most poetic way to end a podcast about failing gloriously.)
About Abi Li
Abi Li is a queer Chinese comedian, proud failure, and fearless storyteller.
From Beijing to Hamburg via heartbreak, divorce, tech flops, and threesomes — Abi turns life’s messiest moments into raw, relatable comedy. On stage, she’s all about truth, laughter, and saying the things most people are too scared to admit.
👉 Follow her on Instagram: @abi.li.comedy
🎤 Tour dates & more: www.abilicomedy.com
🎧 Listen and Learn More
Catch the Full Episode:
Listen to the full conversation on Deep & Dirty wherever you get your podcasts.
🕒 Time: Available Now
🎙️ Podcast Platforms: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more!
Tune in for an eye-opening and inspiring discussion that challenges stereotypes and celebrates authenticity! 🍑
Audio Impairment: Find the transcript on here too.
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime either here, on Instagram or under yes@pleasepinchmehard.com
More of me on Instagram, Webpage, my book on Amazon and Spotify.
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