Why you should just do it (yes, I mean sex)
Lost that horny feeling? Here’s why you should have sex anyway.
If you’re waiting to feel like having sex, you might be waiting forever. The truth is, desire often follows action—so instead of overthinking it, just get started. Regular sex isn’t just about orgasms (though, hello, bonus), it’s about connection, intimacy, and keeping the spark alive. And the best part? The more you do it, the more you want it. So put down the remote, kiss your partner, and see where it leads—you might just thank yourself later.
Let’s talk about it. You love your partner, they love you, and yet your sex life has become as infrequent as a solar eclipse. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe they’re tired. Maybe Netflix’s autoplay is just a little too aggressive, and before you know it, you’re both snoring instead of scoring.
But here’s the thing: you should just do it. No, I’m not saying force yourself into some marathon session when you’re genuinely exhausted, but if sex has slid to the bottom of your priority list, it’s time to shuffle it back up. Because—and I say this with love—if you wait until you feel like having sex, you might be waiting until retirement.
Desire Doesn’t Always Come First
There’s this cultural myth that you need to be spontaneously horny before getting it on. As if you’ll be chopping onions one minute and then suddenly be overtaken by the overwhelming urge to pounce. But for a lot of people—especially those in long-term relationships—desire doesn’t work that way. It often follows action, not the other way around.
Translation? If you start kissing, touching, and actually making the effort, your body and brain will usually catch up. It’s called responsive desire, and it’s a thing. In fact, for many women, arousal often comes after they engage in intimacy, not before. So if you’re waiting for a lightning bolt of lust to strike… well, let’s just say you might be left holding that remote control for a long time.
Sex is the Glue (and the Lube) of Relationships
When was the last time you had sex? Now, when was the last time you felt truly connected to your partner? If those two answers are suspiciously close, it’s not a coincidence. Sex isn’t just about orgasms (though, let’s be honest, those are a nice perk). It’s about intimacy, playfulness, and feeling like more than just co-CEOs of the household logistics department.
Studies show that couples who have regular sex tend to be happier and more bonded. Why? Because sex releases oxytocin—the cuddle hormone, aka nature’s way of making you feel all warm and gooey inside about the person who leaves dishes in the sink. It also lowers stress, improves sleep, and reminds you that you’re still those people—the ones who used to make out in inappropriate places and send flirty texts just because.
You Don’t Have to Make It a Whole Production
I get it. Sometimes sex feels like another thing on the to-do list, right between “schedule dentist appointment” and “buy more oat milk.” But it doesn’t have to be a full-blown cinematic event with candles, lingerie, and an elaborate playlist. Sometimes, you just need to take off your pants and see what happens.
Quickies? Fantastic. Lazy, half-asleep morning sex? Adorable. Even a little “we only have ten minutes before the kids wake up” session? Iconic.
Not every sexual encounter needs to be earth-shattering, but they all help keep the connection alive. And if you keep skipping it because you’re “not in the mood,” that disconnection grows until suddenly, sex isn’t just something you don’t do—it becomes something you can’t imagine doing.
The More You Do It, the More You Want It
Here’s the kicker: the less sex you have, the less you want it. And the opposite is also true—the more you do it, the more your body and brain crave it. Think of it like exercise (but way more fun). The first few times, you might have to convince yourself to get started, but once you’re in the habit? You’re all in.
Sex begets sex. It keeps your libido awake, makes you feel desired, and—bonus—gives you a free, feel-good endorphin boost that no overpriced green juice could ever match.
So, What Are You Waiting For?
If you’re reading this and thinking, Ugh, I don’t know… I’m still not sure I’m in the mood, that’s fine. Just take a deep breath, put your phone down, and kiss your partner. Maybe that kiss turns into something. Maybe it doesn’t. But at least you’re making the effort.
Because at the end of the day, sex isn’t just about keeping things hot—it’s about keeping things close. And trust me, your relationship will thank you for it.
Now, go forth and get busy. (Or at least make out a little. Baby steps.)
