Is it meditation or dissociation? Consent changes everything
The role of consent in tuning out, zoning out, and checking back in
Are you zoning out or tuning in? The difference between mindful escape and mindless avoidance is as simple as giving—or losing—your consent.
Ever sat down to “clear your mind” only to find yourself scrolling on autopilot through TikTok two hours later? I feel you. I’ve been there, too. Sometimes, you set out with the best intentions to meditate, to be present, to zen-out—but somewhere along the way, you end up lost in some trance-like fog. It’s almost like you’re meditating, but not quite. You’re floating somewhere else entirely, untethered. What’s happening here?
Ah, my friend, you might be dipping your toes into dissociation. Meditation and dissociation can feel strikingly similar, yet they’re worlds apart—and one of the biggest differences? Consent. Let’s see what that really means.
Meditation: Taking a Vacation (With a Return Ticket)
Imagine meditation as that dreamy vacation you’ve been planning. You choose the destination, you pack your bags, and you go with a purpose. You know why you’re there. You’re aware, even if you’re lying on a beach doing absolutely nothing (the goal of any good vacation, if you ask me). In meditation, you’re training your mind to focus, relax, and—ironically—be present.
And yes, sometimes your mind drifts. But you can still sense the sun on your face, feel the sand between your toes, and hear the waves crashing nearby. You’re taking an intentional break from the world, but you’re aware of the break itself. You’ve given yourself permission to take this little journey, and you know you’re coming back.
Dissociation: The Unplanned Getaway
Now, dissociation? That’s like finding yourself on a bus to somewhere you’ve never been, with no memory of getting on board. It just… happens. You’re not entirely sure where you are, how you got there, or when you’ll be back. You’re disconnected, in a state of almost numbness or escape, but not because you chose to be.
This can happen when we feel overwhelmed or unsafe. Our brain decides, “Nope, this is too much,” and checks out, leaving us in a foggy, faraway place where things feel distant or unreal. We’re not fully present in the moment, and it can be hard to snap back out of it.
Sound familiar? It might, especially if you’ve ever experienced a sudden, involuntary “zoning out” episode, where you’re lost in your thoughts or feel detached from what’s around you.
The Role of Consent: The Power to Choose
So, what’s the big deal about consent here? Well, it’s all about having control. With meditation, you’re consenting to step away from the hustle and bustle. You’re in the driver’s seat. But dissociation? Not so much. Dissociation doesn’t knock on the door and politely ask if you’d like to take a trip to La-La Land; it just grabs you by the collar and pulls you along for the ride.
In meditation, you’re making a conscious decision. You’re deciding, “Yes, I’m going to sit here, breathe, and focus.” Even if your mind wanders, you can gently guide it back. In dissociation, you don’t have that same level of choice. You’re not fully aware of what’s happening until you’re already knee-deep in it.
Procrastination: The Sneaky Escape
Now, let’s add procrastination into the mix. Ever notice how procrastination can feel a bit like dissociation? You know you’ve got a deadline, but instead of tackling it, you end up cleaning out your closet or getting lost in YouTube spirals. You’re avoiding that looming task by disconnecting from the moment. Procrastination, like dissociation, can often be an escape from something uncomfortable—whether it’s stress, anxiety, or even fear of failure.
In a way, procrastination can create its own version of dissociation. You’re drifting into tasks that aren’t really productive or meaningful, just to avoid the thing you’re supposed to be doing. So, just as we do with dissociation, the key with procrastination is bringing awareness to it. Are you escaping from something? And if so, why?
Grounding Techniques to Reconnect
When you notice you’ve drifted away, grounding techniques can help you come back to the present moment. Here are a few simple ways to bring yourself back:
5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise is a quick way to remind yourself that you’re here, in the present.
Breathwork: Focus on taking deep, slow breaths, feeling each inhale and exhale. This can help you reconnect with your body and break the foggy spell of dissociation.
The Body Scan: Close your eyes and “scan” your body from head to toe, noticing any sensations, tension, or tingles. It’s a gentle way to anchor yourself back in your physical form.
Mindfulness in Everyday Activities
Not everyone has time to sit cross-legged and meditate daily, so let’s talk about alternative ways to practice mindfulness that can help you stay present and aware:
Mindful Eating: Slow down and savor your meals. Notice the textures, flavors, and smells. This can be a fantastic way to stay present and reconnect with your senses.
Mindful Walking: Go for a walk and focus on the sensation of your feet hitting the ground. Notice the sights and sounds around you. This is a great grounding exercise too, which can help counteract dissociation.
Curious Questions to Ask Yourself
Self-reflection can help us understand why we might be slipping into dissociation in the first place. Here are some questions to ponder:
What triggers my dissociation or procrastination? Are there specific situations, people, or environments that seem to prompt it?
What emotions am I avoiding? Often, both dissociation and procrastination can be ways to numb ourselves from feelings we’d rather not face. Getting curious here can be the first step to addressing the root cause.
The Intent Matters: Are You Grounded or Floating?
One of the easiest ways to distinguish between meditation, dissociation, and even procrastination is to ask yourself, “Am I grounded or floating?” Meditation often brings you closer to yourself. You feel your breath, your body, and a sense of being in the here and now. Dissociation, on the other hand, can leave you feeling detached, as if you’re floating outside your body, untethered and ungrounded. Procrastination might feel like you’re floating too—just drifting into tasks you’d rather not be doing but can’t quite resist.
So, next time you find yourself zoning out or procrastinating, ask yourself: Am I choosing this, or is it choosing me? Am I still on that beautiful beach, fully aware of the waves crashing around me, or am I somewhere else, lost in the fog or avoiding the task I really need to tackle?
Finding Balance: Creating Space to Be Present
So, the next time you sit down to meditate, give yourself permission to truly be there. Allow yourself the choice to step away from the world but stay rooted in your own experience. And if you find yourself dissociating or procrastinating? Take a deep breath, come back to your body, and gently remind yourself that you’re here, you’re safe, and you have the power to choose.
Remember, meditation, dissociation, and even procrastination are ways our minds cope and explore. None of them are inherently good or bad—it’s all about understanding the role they play in our lives and how we can navigate them with intention. So, get curious. Check in with yourself. And, most importantly, give yourself permission to feel all the messy, beautiful things that make you, well, you.
