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🔗🌟 What happens when a dominatrix, comedian, and abortion doula walks into a conversation and refuses to tone it down?
We talk about sex work without shame, perimenopause without whispering, and why “my body, my choice” isn’t a slogan, it’s a fight. There’s rage. There’s humor. There’s softness. And somewhere in between, a three-legged cat named Tina Turner reminding us we’re all going to be okay...
What happens when we stop apologising for our bodies, our choices, and our rage?
It starts with a three-legged cat. No, really.
Before we get into sex work, perimenopause, abortion rights and everything in between, there’s Tina Turner — small, unbothered, and entirely herself. A quiet reminder that maybe we’re the ones overcomplicating things. Maybe survival doesn’t always look graceful. Maybe it just is.
And that’s kind of the thread that runs through my conversation with Liliana, aka La Dios.
Nothing about her is watered down.
She doesn’t “circle around” topics. She walks straight into them, looks them in the eye, and then — if needed — laughs in their face.
“I was always too much. So I became more.”
There’s something that happens when you grow up being told you’re the wild one.
Too loud. Too sexual. Too emotional. Too angry.
At some point, you either shrink… or you expand into it.
Liliana expanded.
From navigating cultures between the US and Colombia to stepping into sex work, BDSM, comedy, and now abortion support work — her life isn’t linear. It’s layered. Messy. Intentional. Alive.
And the most striking part? The lack of shame.
Or rather — the active removal of it.
She talks about BDSM not as something dark or taboo, but as something that gave her language. Boundaries. A sense of self that wasn’t dictated by someone else’s moral framework.
Not rebellion for the sake of it. Reclamation.
Sex, but make it honest
There’s a moment where we talk about desire. Or rather, the lack of it that so many women are currently experiencing.
Low libido. No interest. A kind of quiet shutdown. And her response is… refreshingly blunt.
Maybe it’s not that women don’t want sex.
Maybe they don’t want that version of it.
The unsafe one. The performative one. The one where they’re not actually met. Because when safety, curiosity, and actual connection are present? Desire shows up. And not always in the way we’ve been taught.
Sometimes it’s not about penetration. Sometimes it’s not even about sex.
Sometimes it’s about finally being able to say: this is what I want. This is what I don’t. And being heard.
Perimenopause, but no one warned us properly
We also talk about perimenopause — and how it’s been quietly ignored for generations. Not because it didn’t exist. But because women weren’t allowed to talk about it.
So instead, they were labelled difficult. Emotional. Too much. Sound familiar?
What I loved in this part of the conversation is the shift. Not just in hormones, but in tolerance. Because as Liliana puts it — the older she gets, the less time she has for nonsense.
If you can’t stimulate her mind? You don’t get access to anything else. Simple. Brutal. Effective.
Rage isn’t the problem
At some point, we land on anger. And instead of softening it, reframing it, or turning it into something more “palatable”… We let it exist.
Rage as information.
Rage as energy.
Rage as something that was never meant to be suppressed in the first place.
There’s a version of womanhood that’s acceptable. And then there’s the real one.
The one that’s tired. And turned on. And fed up. And curious. And emotional. And contradictory. And evolving. All at once.
“My body, my choice” is not up for debate
Towards the end, things get quieter. Heavier.
Because underneath all of it — the humour, the sex, the stories — there’s something else driving her right now.
Abortion rights. She’s training as an abortion support doula, holding space for people before, during, and after one of the most complex decisions they might ever make.
And what stays with me is this:
There’s no right answer.
Only your answer.
And in a world that constantly tries to override that — telling people what they should do with their bodies — creating space for someone to hear themselves again is radical.
So what do you do with all of this?
You don’t have to become a dominatrix.
Or move countries.
Or go on stage and turn your pain into comedy.
But maybe you start smaller.
You notice where you’ve been quiet.
Where you’ve been accommodating.
Where you’ve been saying yes when you meant something else entirely.
And you get curious.
Because underneath all the noise, all the conditioning, all the expectations…
There’s a voice.
And it’s yours.
About Liliana
Liliana Velasquez M., also known as La Dios, is a Berlin-based performance artist, comedian, dominatrix, and abortion support doula. Her work sits at the intersection of body autonomy, consent, and freedom of choice — blending art, activism, and lived experience. Through comedy, sex work, and advocacy, she challenges shame, fights criminalization, and creates spaces for honest, unapologetic conversations about our bodies.
🔗 Find Liliana here:
Webpage: www.ladios.me
Comedy Shows: www.timetoshinekink.com
Instagram: @Ladios_v
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Tune in for an eye-opening and inspiring discussion that challenges stereotypes and celebrates authenticity! 🍑
Audio Impairment: Find the transcript on here too.
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime either here, on Instagram or under yes@pleasepinchmehard.com
More of me on Instagram, Webpage, my book on Amazon and Spotify.
Thanks for reading Mrs Lisa O | Audio Impairment: Find the transcript on here too.
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime either here, on Instagram or under yes@pleasepinchmehard.com
More of me on Instagram, Webpage, my book on Amazon and Spotify.
