(ENG) SHORT STORY: A sex doll + perimenopause.

DEEP&DIRTY with Lisa Opel

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-19:11

(ENG) SHORT STORY: A sex doll + perimenopause.

DEEP&DIRTY (ENG) // Me, Myself & Apollo: What testing a male doll taught me about autonomy, intimacy, and saying what I want.

Mar 19, 2026

🎙️ Available on all Podcast-Platform: Spotify, Apple Podcasts & Co.

🔗🌟 A Sex Doll, Some Lube, and a Lot of Questions

When JOYclub and Housedoll asked if I’d like to test a male sex doll, I was already in a place of questions. About sex. About visibility. About what midlife is supposed to feel like when you still want things — want to explore, want to connect, want to be left alone and deeply seen all at once.

I said yes. Not as a stunt. Not for shock value. But because the idea of reclaiming pleasure without performance felt quietly radical.

I wrote a story afterwards called Me, Myself and Apollo. It’s fiction, but it came straight from the experience. A woman, alone, mid-hot flush, climbing on top of a silicone man with a detachable cock and no opinions. It was awkward. It was revealing. And in its own strange way, it was liberating.

The doll didn’t talk. He didn’t rush me. He didn’t need anything from me. That stillness — that absence of needing to manage someone else’s experience — created space for mine. In that space, I noticed how much I’d been carrying. How much of my sexuality had been shaped around other people’s expectations. And how good it felt to stop asking for permission.

The Vanishing Woman Isn’t Vanishing At All
Perimenopause, performance fatigue, and how sextech is changing the story

There’s a narrative about women in midlife. That we disappear. That our desirability drops off. That we’re either settled down, or out of the game entirely.

It’s rubbish, obviously. But it’s also powerful. You start to internalise it. Especially during perimenopause, when your body shifts gears and nothing feels reliable — not your sleep, not your moods, not your vagina. Your sense of self gets foggy. You ache more. You want different things. Sometimes you want nothing at all. And that, too, can feel like failure.

But here’s the thing. Midlife isn’t a vanishing act. It’s a refocusing. A soft revolution. Women over 40 are reclaiming their time, their pleasure, and their right to want — without it needing to be for someone else.

That’s where sextech becomes more than novelty. It becomes a tool for agency. It’s not about replacing partners. It’s about creating space. For exploration. For awkwardness. For self-led pleasure without the pressure to be good at it. Or good for anyone else.

And it’s happening. Quietly, steadily. In bedrooms and bathrooms and private tabs. A growing number of women are using sex toys not just to get off, but to get in — into their bodies, their fantasies, their own unapologetic skin.

I didn’t expect a sex doll to make me reflect on power, presence and perimenopause. But that’s what happened.

So here’s an invitation.
To listen. To watch. To read. To want what you want. Even if it’s just a bit of peace, a vibrator on the right setting, and a mirror that shows you back to yourself.

🎧 Listen to the full story on the podcast: Me, Myself and Apollo
📺 Watch the satirical ASMR experience video on YouTube
📖 Read the full article about testing the doll